Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Several years ago, while driving home from the city, my friends and I were looking for some good music to play in the car to “rock out” to and blast from the windows on our way home. This was in the day before mp3s, iPods, satellite radio and CDs. My tape deck had conked out and I was forced to resort to the basic ad-filled radio. As we scanned through the stations (going absolutely nuts mind you because there seemed to be only ballads by Fleetwood Mac on at 12:30 at night), we hit upon a station playing a really hilarious song. We only caught the end of it, but the last stanza went like this:

“…with each drop of strychnin

we feed to a pigeon

It just takes a smidgen

to poison a pigeon in the park…”

We quickly called up the station—a popular classic rock station here in Chicago—and after a few tries we finally got through. The show was syndicated but we didn’t care; we had to know the song. The producer said he would play it in its entirety after the show ended, which he did at 2:00 am. The song was called “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” by Tom Lehrer and is about a couple of people who go out every spring Sunday afternoon and poison pigeons in the park (and sometimes a squirrel).

As I look back on those times with my friends and all the fun we had, the one thing that keeps popping in my mind is that song (and the frantic search for it. Though, the funny thing about that song is that several years later I now work for a company that manufactures humane products for getting rid of pigeons.

While the song may ring true for many an angry park-goer, poison happens to be the WORST way to get rid of pigeons. The only tried and true way to get rid of pigeons for good is through behavior modification. The pigeons won’t leave an area unless they think it is unsavory. Meaning that it isn’t safe, secure or there’s no food.

Humane Pigeon Control Methods

There are several humane pigeon control methods that keep them away using behavior modification. One great way to get rid of pesky pigeons, especially in large open areas like parks, is to use a sound device. Anyone can blast a radio, but as we all know, pigeons adapt to their environment quickly. When walking the streets of Chicago, I see pigeons walking down the middle of busy streets and on the “L” train tracks, only to fly away at the last minute and return a moment or two later. You should really try a sound device such as a BroadBand PRO or a BirdXPeller PRO. These products use natural bird sounds — in this case pigeon alert and alarm calls — to scare away the birds. Other sounds found on these devices are that of predators of pigeons (hawks, eagles, owls, etc) that will make the area undesirable because it means that there is potential danger nearby.

Another great recommendation is to pair the sound device with a predator decoy, like the Prowler Owl or Terror Eyes scare balloon. These products look like menacing predators and frighten pigeons lurking in the area.

As you can imagine, one doesn’t necessarily have to poison pigeons to get them to leave the park. In fact, poisoning them doesn’t tell the other pigeons that the area is unsavory; all you’re really doing is replacing the foul birds with more foul (fowl?) birds.